‘What about us?’ is a question that men have been asking in relation to their female partner’s menstrual cycle.

We have guides for women to help them to explore and express their natural cycles, but what about the men who live alongside this exploration? Where is the help for them? How to do they keep up; how do they manage the changing needs of their partner and of her expectations? How do they feel secure in themselves when their world seems to be under the control of their partner’s cycle?

It’s no wonder that men may feel a little powerless, a little dominated and a little ignored and unappreciated. And the answer to where is the help for men? It needs to come from the Cyclic Woman that they are living with.

Embarking on a journey of cycle exploration is an exciting journey for women. Suddenly things make more sense, and we have permission to listen to our body and to our self and to be free to be who we are in each phase. This is liberating, enlightening, and empowering, and brings a wonderful sense of hope and growth.

Finding out who we are is one of the most important things we can do. Learning about our different archetypes and bringing them equally into our lives is an important practical and spiritual path of awakening and of living our authentic self. But sadly we can forget our male partner in our excitement, leaving him feeling estranged, confused and unvalidated.

Men need to explore their own energies and bodies and to rediscover their own path of authentic masculinity, but women have a responsibility to help men to understand authentic femininity. And it requires patience. We need to be the teacher – finding ways to make information understandable, to show the benefits of the information, and to give our ‘student’ the time he needs to understand and to grow.

We need to give men time to become accustomed to our cyclic nature and our female spirituality as it becomes part of our lives. We need to show that our partner is still important to us on our journey, that he is loved and appreciated. Our path is not to create a long list of activities he has to do in each phase to meet our needs so we can be happy fulfilled women, our path is to take his hand and show him the mutual benefits. Our super-powers are not just for us, they are there to enable our partner’s life as well as our own.

And if our relationship truly is for life, then we have the time to be patient and to learn together. And the joy is that when we give men the full focus and attention of our phase archetype, then he experiences the authentic masculine response to this aspect of our femininity. The Maiden can make him feel like a young warrior, the Enchantress can connect him to his inner Magician, the Mother can call out the loving and caring Father, and the Crone can meet his Sage in the oneness of the Universe. We can be the catalyst for his own spiritual exploration. And now he is no longer isolated or unvalidated, because we reflect back to each other the four types of love, perception, sexual energy, creativity and spirituality. Together we dance the flow of the masculine and feminine archetypes.

We women should not be waiting for ‘men to catch up’ – instead we should be walking the cyclic path with them, sharing our gifts and discoveries. Together men and women have the ability to not only ‘manage’ the cycle but to see it as a positive and beneficial path towards a relationship of love, harmony, achievement, and understanding that will last a lifetime.

Why should men have access to all the tips for managing the menstrual cycle? A book for men – but also important for women to read!

Living with a Woman in Lockdown: A Survival Guide for Men! by Miranda Gray